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apple will probably introduce a new iphone sept. 9
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/apple-iphone-6s-announcement_us_55df3a98e4b0e7117ba91590
0
trump uses rnc funds to pay for his russia defense -- thanks to hillary clinton's lawyer
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-russia-rnc-defense_us_59c2d80de4b0c90504fb53a0
1
last month apparently women's history month
https://www.theonion.com/last-month-apparently-womens-history-month-1819565541
1
innovative fat man combines waffles with ice cream
https://www.theonion.com/innovative-fat-man-combines-waffles-with-ice-cream-1819564487
1
local building too wheelchair-friendly
https://www.theonion.com/local-building-too-wheelchair-friendly-1819588401
0
pope francis has a very clear message for 'christians' who build walls
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/pope-francis-trump-criticism_us_589c9c4ee4b04061313bfe39
0
it's not eisenhower or reagan's republican party anymore
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-republican-party_us_5824be39e4b0c56101d5cb7e
1
new after-school program aims to keep children off streets for additional 45 minutes
https://www.theonion.com/new-after-school-program-aims-to-keep-children-off-stre-1822089205
0
trey gowdy and his gop colleagues embarrassed themselves
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.salon.com/2015/10/23/the_benghazi_bust_trey_gowdy_and_his_gop_colleagues_embarrassed_themselves/
0
dianne feinstein eviscerates jeff sessions in savage closing argument
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/dianne-feinstein-eviscerates-jeff-sessions_us_5890bc98e4b02772c4e96bf4
0
gunmen kidnap australian firm's workers in nigeria
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/nigeria-gunmen-kidnap-australians_us_576bcde1e4b09926ce5dd393
1
concerned nra official rushes out to purchase congressman following mass shooting
https://www.theonion.com/concerned-nra-official-rushes-out-to-purchase-congressm-1819578951
0
gratitude for the smartwatch
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gratitude-for-the-smartwa_b_5330441.html
0
best hotels for large families
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/best-hotels-for-large-fam_b_6858590.html
0
clay aiken gained 30 pounds eating bojangles chicken during his campaign
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/clay-aiken-30-pounds-eating-bojangles_us_57211401e4b01a5ebde44ddc
0
gay guys get personal and ask straight men all of their burning questions
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gay-men-ask-straight-guys-questions_us_568d46bbe4b0a2b6fb6e2e82
1
defiant evangelicals branch off into new 'first molestist' sub-denomination
https://www.theonion.com/defiant-evangelicals-branch-off-into-new-first-molesti-1835480099
0
house democrats bring in record fundraising numbers, gearing up for 2018 midterms
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/dccc-record-fundraising-numbers-october_us_5a0ca059e4b0b17e5e13ac0c
1
insect with limitless flying space rockets straight for man's pupil
https://www.theonion.com/insect-with-limitless-flying-space-rockets-straight-for-1819592344
0
7 ways to give back in an hour or less
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/give-back-time_n_6272120.html
0
america's charter schools have a commitment problem
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/charter-schools-and-commitment_us_58fbab26e4b0f02c3870eafa
1
magazine runs article about louis c.k.
https://entertainment.theonion.com/magazine-runs-article-about-louis-c-k-1819574940
0
'1984' sales spike after kellyanne conway's orwellian interview
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/1984-sales-spike-alternative-facts_us_5887c8cce4b0441a8f71871d
0
ninja-like parents demonstrate how to escape a sleeping baby
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-to-escape-a-sleeping-baby_n_6122540.html
0
loyal dog waits patiently for 7 whole days for owner to come home
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/loyal-dog-waits-patiently-for-7-whole-days-for-owner-to-come-home_us_57c5c657e4b09cd22d92e77a
1
george r. r. martin kills off whole family
https://entertainment.theonion.com/george-r-r-martin-kills-off-whole-family-1819575103
1
chicago's shedd aquarium admits panda exhibit a ghastly mistake
https://www.theonion.com/chicagos-shedd-aquarium-admits-panda-exhibit-a-ghastly-1819587969
1
7-year-old asshole demands you king him
https://local.theonion.com/7-year-old-asshole-demands-you-king-him-1819567423
0
justin timberlake wants his son to be inspired by charlottesville's strength
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/justin-timberlake-charlottesville_us_59c861ede4b01cc57ff3011a
0
netflix just hired producer ryan murphy in a huge 5-year deal
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/netflix-ryan-murphy_us_5a83afefe4b0adbaf3d89fba
0
a manners lesson for donald trump about the stars and stripes
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/a-manners-lesson-for-donald-trump-about-the-stars-and_us_59cbc02fe4b02ba6621ff974
0
britney spears sends sweet message to teen who recovered from stroke dancing to 'toxic'
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/teen-comes-back-dancing-after-stroke-and-aneurysm-with-help-from-britney-spears-hit-toxic_us_55bf8c62e4b06363d5a2ba64
0
growing up in scouting's closet
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/growing-up-in-scoutings-closet_us_59dd7643e4b0b992a82147ed
0
cooking off the cuff: a simple sicilian way with swordfish - with a light sauce as equal partner
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/cooking-off-the-cuff-a-si_b_7580422.html
1
local oafs to spawn
https://www.theonion.com/local-oafs-to-spawn-1819586186
0
admit it, trump supporters, you got duped
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/admit-it-trump-supporters-you-got-duped_us_5907ed1be4b03b105b44bb98
0
ammon bundy says he's following directions from god
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ammon-bundy-mission-from-god_us_568c6b8fe4b0cad15e62836f
0
cinema therapy and robin williams
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/robin-williams-contributi_b_5673224.html
1
warrantless surveillance bill to protect nation by creating dozens of future whistleblowers
https://politics.theonion.com/warrantless-surveillance-bill-to-protect-nation-by-crea-1822206295
1
report: it unclear whether opposition from every sector of american society will have any effect on healthcare bill passing
https://politics.theonion.com/report-it-unclear-whether-opposition-from-every-sector-1819579725
0
is early reading a problem?
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/is-early-reading-a-problem_b_6822274.html
1
chinese citizens observe 25-year moment of silence for tiananmen square massacre
https://www.theonion.com/chinese-citizens-observe-25-year-moment-of-silence-for-1819591743
1
bausch & lomb introduces line of aviator contacts
https://www.theonion.com/bausch-lomb-introduces-line-of-aviator-contacts-1819589820
0
mom says she pulled gun on teens threatening her son
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/missouri-mom-pulls-gun-on-teens_us_55e753b9e4b0aec9f355b89b
1
cameron diaz finally opens up about generally positive experience in show business
https://entertainment.theonion.com/cameron-diaz-finally-opens-up-about-generally-positive-1819579862
0
huffpollster: sorry bernie fans, a sanders comeback is unlikely
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/bernie-sanders-comeback-unlikely_us_57235272e4b0f309baf08793
0
i cannot do this alone: why allies matter to the down syndrome community
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/i-cannot-do-this-alone-why-allies-matter-to-the-down_us_58cdf34ce4b0537abd9571a5
0
the grid: startup promises ai webdesign for the masses
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-grid-startup-promises_b_7130772.html
1
report: average american consuming 4 ounces of cheese right now
https://www.theonion.com/report-average-american-consuming-4-ounces-of-cheese-r-1819576402
0
city offers free pot for the poor
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/free-marijuana-berkeley_n_5770256.html
0
the latest 'true blood' death was all sookie's fault
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/true-blood-death_n_5563342.html
1
eager understudy beginning to think john lithgow impervious to disease
https://entertainment.theonion.com/eager-understudy-beginning-to-think-john-lithgow-imperv-1819588134
0
once-homeless hairstylist helps girls in need in the most beautiful way
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/vanessa-howard-hair-stylist-homeless-girls-makeovers_us_598417e2e4b041356ebef5e0
1
martin shkreli faces rough stay in prison system where inmates who funded hair theft are lowest caste
https://www.theonion.com/martin-shkreli-faces-rough-stay-in-prison-system-where-1819580306
0
stop talking about 'screen time,' start thinking about screen use
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/stop-talking-about-screen-time-start-thinking-about-screen-use_us_55df22dee4b08dc094869241
0
isis' muslim death toll is enormous
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/isis-muslim_n_5946340.html
0
lindsey graham's leaked voicemails are very revealing
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/lindsey-grahams-leaked-voicemails_us_55b1443ae4b0a9b948541d56
1
historical archives: to be sold - two chamber pot house
https://www.theonion.com/historical-archives-to-be-sold-two-chamber-pot-house-1819570246
0
mister rove, master of the smear
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mister-rove-master-of-the_b_5340999.html
1
caterpillar in pupal stage for past 3 months going to be pissed if it turns out to be moth
https://local.theonion.com/caterpillar-in-pupal-stage-for-past-3-months-going-to-b-1828337602
1
archaeologists discover cave where ancient humans first had to pretend to like friend's art
https://www.theonion.com/archaeologists-discover-cave-where-ancient-humans-first-1819577002
1
fed: 'if jobs are meant to be with us, they'll come back on their own'
https://www.theonion.com/fed-if-jobs-are-meant-to-be-with-us-theyll-come-back-1819573688
1
man races against time to take out trash bag with widening puncture
https://local.theonion.com/man-races-against-time-to-take-out-trash-bag-with-widen-1819578050
0
do you know why i'm pulling you over, being wildly aggressive, and charging you with assault today, sir?
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.theonion.com/blogpost/do-you-know-why-im-pulling-you-over-being-wildly-a-50916
0
academy award winners you didn't know were from illinois
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/academy-award-winners-you_b_6745574.html
1
vicious, man-eating carnivores on decline in arctic
https://www.theonion.com/vicious-man-eating-carnivores-on-decline-in-arctic-1819588734
1
wildebeest taking awful lot of credit for stampede
https://www.theonion.com/wildebeest-taking-awful-lot-of-credit-for-stampede-1819592392
0
thousands protest peacefully in baltimore, and many lend a helping hand
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/baltimore-protests-freddie-gray_n_7177582.html
0
the louvre gardens are teeming with rats
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/louvre-rats_n_5631598.html
1
senatorial candidate challenges opponent to drop out of race
https://politics.theonion.com/senatorial-candidate-challenges-opponent-to-drop-out-of-1819568698
1
expectant parents throw some values together at last minute
https://www.theonion.com/expectant-parents-throw-some-values-together-at-last-mi-1819576233
1
governor too embarrassed to say which state he leads
https://politics.theonion.com/governor-too-embarrassed-to-say-which-state-he-leads-1819573557
0
what we're talking about when we talk about skin care
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-were-talking-about-when-we-talk-about-skin-care_us_5a720b6be4b09a544b56040f
0
will ferrell breaks into the kardashian house for a good cause
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/will-ferrell-breaks-into-the-kardashian-house-for-a-good-cause_us_5a297f89e4b03ece0300e845
1
report: jessica milly has put out
https://local.theonion.com/report-jessica-milly-has-put-out-1819573110
1
'missed connection' ad obviously cheney
https://www.theonion.com/missed-connection-ad-obviously-cheney-1819567782
1
food network production assistants prep guy fieri with dry rub
https://entertainment.theonion.com/food-network-production-assistants-prep-guy-fieri-with-1819592862
1
man completes life $130,000 over budget
https://local.theonion.com/man-completes-life-130-000-over-budget-1819577567
1
masturbating mom can't get bobby flay southwestern eggs demo to stop buffering
https://local.theonion.com/masturbating-mom-can-t-get-bobby-flay-southwestern-eggs-1825173342
0
u.s. weighs bigger role in war in yemen
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/us-yemen-war_us_58d9a534e4b0f805b3231602
1
bruno mars takes home coveted 'least threatening artist' award at 2018 grammys
https://entertainment.theonion.com/bruno-mars-takes-home-coveted-least-threatening-artist-1822516594
1
inconsolable sarah palin opens up about sacha baron cohen betrayal to cardboard cutout of whoopi goldberg
https://www.theonion.com/inconsolable-sarah-palin-opens-up-about-sacha-baron-coh-1827519176
1
chinese newlyweds wondering what they're going to do with all this medicinal bear bile
https://www.theonion.com/chinese-newlyweds-wondering-what-they-re-going-to-do-wi-1819575426
1
study finds only 1 in 3 lasik surgeries end in laser boring through eye, incinerating brain, shooting through skull on other side
https://www.theonion.com/study-finds-only-1-in-3-lasik-surgeries-end-in-laser-bo-1819580043
0
homeless pitbull couldn't stop trembling, until someone showed her love
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://pubx.co/8WKisH
0
scottish independence: proudly small or proudly together?
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/scottish-independence-pro_b_5838608.html
0
how to dress up for the holidays with stuff you already own
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/dress-up-holidays_us_5665e275e4b08e945ff05663
0
tyson beckford recalls the craziness before shooting britney spears' 'toxic' video
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/tyson-beckford-britney-spears-toxic-video_us_58d56899e4b02a2eaab3bfa9
0
was there a villain in the 2014 election?
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/was-there-a-villain-in-th_b_6195460.html
0
this star wars shrine can now be rented for just $50 a night
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/star-wars-shrine-rent_us_5646203ae4b08cda34888fe0
0
julianne moore stuns in custom chanel
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/julianne-moore-oscar-dress-photos-_n_6724526.html
1
nissin introduces extra-large drum noodles
https://www.theonion.com/nissin-introduces-extra-large-drum-noodles-1819592268
1
ganymede totalled in three-moon pileup
https://local.theonion.com/ganymede-totalled-in-three-moon-pileup-1819564651
1
'the time to act is now,' says yellowing climate change report sitting in university archive
https://www.theonion.com/the-time-to-act-is-now-says-yellowing-climate-change-1819578751
0
have we already solved the student debt crisis?
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/have-we-already-solved-th_b_6738904.html
1
man who plays devil's advocate really just wants to be asshole
https://www.theonion.com/man-who-plays-devils-advocate-really-just-wants-to-be-a-1819568992
0
the shocking transformations of your favorite country stars
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-shocking-transformations-of-your-favorite-country-stars_us_563e8c66e4b0b24aee4a97b2
0
elizabeth warren slams pat toomey for trying to let banks 'swindle' cities and towns
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/elizabeth-warren-pat-toomey-pennsylvania_us_57ed640fe4b024a52d2db077
0
st. vincent will direct film adaptation of 'dorian gray' with female lead
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/st-vincent-dorian-gray_us_59945a63e4b0e789a94880a4
0
why these people of faith are marching for women this weekend
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/why-these-people-of-faith-are-marching-for-women-this-weekend_us_58812f2de4b096b4a230b46c